like God's eye

I had spent my life on the outside, living in the margins of the pages I wrote.

my mind kept me safe, refusing to see things for what they were.

but as I stood there in the lobby, as the Friend of my Youth shot the Boss

things were different.

The world, as Cass had said, was of one piece.

Time brings all things to light, for no one can hide from the truth

like a great spider, it seeks you out, pins you down, forces you to own up.

One event, one moment in time, set off a chain of actions that spun wildly out of control

How did it come to this?

I had been used, like a puppet, like a tool, of no importance

my actions, I thought, meant nothing, for everything was nothing at all.

The world did not matter; words were empty and everything was left up to chance.

But that was not true. everything was everything, connected and dependent

branching out from one thing like a spiderweb.

I thought back to that one thing, the one event, the first time I met Willie in the back of Slade’s place.

It could have all been different.

Because of that one day, great men had fallen, lives had shattered and broken

I was responsible for Anne, the Judge, Adam, the Scholarly Attorney, 

Their fates and mine were as interwoven as threads on a braid.

He pulled the trigger.

Confusion turned to disbelief, which turned to anger, sadness, and finally acceptance.

I had done what I had done, on my own accords 

and therefore had to suffer the consequences

but finally I was free,

for i got to catch that midnight train, for all my sin was taken away.